An Investigation of Motivation
The deeper I go into my creative practices the more I am forced to look at my motivations for doing them. Even after years of playing and considering myself an artist, my understanding of why I am actually drawn to such a thing has continued to shift. In the beginning it seemed so obvious: I thought, “Music is my personal path. It is my way of expressing myself and finding my place in the world.” But as I got older and started to break down the idea of who I am as opposed to who we all are, that question of motivation became much more interesting.
Now I am starting to investigate the realm of individuality and wondering what it really means to be separate from everything that is. I wonder, is there really such a thing as “personal” expression or am I just a limb protruding from the totality of conscious existence? Where does my creative expression differentiate from the entire process of evolution that we all stem from? If my feelings about consciousness are true and an individual experience is akin to a single wave forming on the surface of the ocean, then what does that mean in the context of creative expression? Is our individuality like the waves-just tricking our minds into believing there is such a thing as separation?
When I open my eyes wide enough and consider this level of interdependence, all of my ideas about personal expression begin to shift. My motivations start to look more like a natural unfolding-like an acorn falling from a branch and slowly shifting back into the massive oak tree which it was born from. My personal investments and narrowly focused perspectives seem quite insignificant and I come to see that I am in fact creativity itself. All that I do is woven into this wild tapestry of day to day living. Nothing is separate. Nothing is left out...just a little something to chew on :)