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A Flickering Realization

July 16, 2018

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Living Authentically

August 21, 2018



It’s amazing how quickly the circumstances of our lives can change and with it, the way we see the world. As soon as a major shift in our daily routine occurs, our outlook and perspective inevitably follows. This is true for both positive and negative changes. Wether it’s something for our benefit or something that inhibits the status quo, our thoughts and feelings trail behind like a curious wake. 


While looking closely at this phenomenon it has become more and more clear to me that who we think we are is constantly in flux. Moment to moment we are gradually shifting into the next fluid form. We occasionally take shape just long enough to trick ourselves into formulating labels,  but as soon as we climb inside a box we immediately outgrow it. We obsessively seek the comfort of a neat and tidy identity but as soon as it approaches, our need for freedom pushes it away. It makes me wonder wether this is the work of authenticity or simply our need to be in control. Is our shape-shifting nature a sign of our natural evolution or of the ego’s will to survive? It’s a very fine line that we all dance along and I suppose the answer depends upon the situation. 


When I think about the many transformations that I have gone through in life I can see that it’s often a bit of both. Sometimes the changes I go through are because I know it’s time to move on. I can feel in my bones that I am entering a new phase and so the transition happens effortlessly; like a leaf flowing down the river. These are the times when I feel at peace with myself and so am willing to trust what the universe has in store for me. This I believe, is when authenticity has taken control of the reins.


Other times, of course, my journey seems anything but effortless and I feel like I am attempting to bushwhack my way toward a “better” state of being. These have been the times where I am simply frustrated with what I am doing and feel inadequate or even stagnant. When I look back into those difficult transitions I can see that I wasn’t being true to myself or learning from the lessons that were presented, but was instead trying to force my way into a stage that I was completely unprepared for. This is when the ego has its say. 


At the end of the day, change is change. There is nothing we can do to stop the undulations of human experience. All we can do is become a little more sensitive toward our process and try to remain present with what is actually happening. If we can do this, I think we might stand a chance of shedding our old skin without damaging the one we are hoping to inhabit.

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